Don't worry we are just having a country wide collective moment...no wait, maybe you should worry most of us own guns!

I have started a few post on a number of topics, but I keep coming back to the same topic in my mind and that's basically : What the hell is going on in this country? Have we lost our collective freakin minds? Should we be less worried about the Swine Flu epidemic and more worried that our country is having a mental illness epidemic? Really, just about every time I turn on my computer and read the headlines someone has shot up some place or done some other equally insane thing.

I won't list them all here, you all read the headlines, listen to the news you know what is happening in the U.S. so I have to ask you people who don't live here do you all now look at us as the crazy family member at the holiday party? Come on admit it to you all we're all Uncle Joe ranting and raving about seeing strange lights coming at him in the sky one night when in reality his drunk ass was past out on the side of the highway. Or are we the bully that made your high school days a living hell? Do you all want to collectively kick our asses? Have us committed? Take away our guns?

If this is any solance most of us have that deer in the headlight look and we are just waiting for another person to say "what the fuck?" so we can say, "yeah, I know you think Canada will let any of us move up there without a full psychiatric evaluation?" I know if I were the president of any country in the world, even like Columbia or something, I would say : Let's keep the Americans out...they're some scarey crazy people and besides they have no more money left to by the cocaine so who needs them?

Here is how most people will start a conversation when talking about America now, "Well you know I believe this is the greatest country on Earth, but..." And then they tell you how scared they really are and if they are a parent of young children they wonder out loud if maybe it would be better to take their kids to another country. When some young man in his early 30's tells you he is thinking about taking his family and moving to Mexico, America has got issues. Seriously if I were anywhere near young again and thought I could find a job I would move to Canada. No Canada, really I don't own a gun and I am quirky, not crazy, I have therapists, psychologists and a doctor who will back that up. Of course I am an American, I will probably need Xanax for the first six months or so, but after that I would be good to go.

I live here and I am afraid, but I'd be more afraid to be in another country. I mean we got a lot of big weapons as a country and as individuals we can buy guns and ammo in some states at the quickie marts when we stop for beer. Just think about being neighbors to people with massive weaponry and mental illness running amok. Maybe it is safer to be living in the crazy neighbor house than to be the sane neighbor. Not that some of you all don't have your loon moments, it just seems now we are on a mission from...no not God, definitely not God.

In all seriousness, I am concerned about the country that I was born and raised in, it's like a family, no matter how dysfunctional, it is still your family and leaving it to find another family doesn't always work. Or does it? Or are the other families just as bat shit crazy as yours? I think I am going to start to read foreign newspapers so I can see what sort of things are happening in other civilized countries, if people are running into former places of employment and killing people or driving stoned and drunk with their children in the car and killing them. Has any other country had an astronaut drive hundreds of miles while wearing a diaper to kill their lover's spouse?

Look, we'll get it together and we will try not to hurt anymore of you all in the process, but if you hear rumors that the U.N. is getting together and there is talk about putting Thorazine in our water supply, just let it go, it couldn't hurt.

P.S. This one you can't blame on the gays America it's you crazy ass straight people doing all this crap.

P.S.S. Yeah it is probably in bad form to rant about your own country on the Internet, but why act like you don't think anything is wrong. Isn't that the kind of thought process that got us in a lot of this mess, because we all allowed 8 years of the Cheney Administration? Come on America, own it. And put down the fucking guns.

The Hours - Why does someone have to die?

It's the Hours...the ones will fill with meaningless moments....the ones we never fill at all...the ones that remind us of all the hours gone by we'll never get back and we don't deserve to get back.

Next year, no stinkin costume, no stinkin candy.

This is my first Halloween in my new place and the first time in six years that I have had actual trick or treaters knock on my door and I got to tell you, they're not even trying. I have been reading lately about the Halloween tradition, how it got started with children actually having to say little poems or do little skits for a treat. Well so far I have had about ten kids and most of them aren't even wearing a costume. Come on...we were poor growing up we didn't have money for Halloween costumes, but there is always the customes anyone can do, ghost, hobo, dressing in your parents clothes, how about a little imagination short people.

I gave it a little effort this year I got a pumpkin that I could not bring myself to mutilate even though I was going to turn into the ever popular puking pumpkin, but I decided to save it and turn it into the even more popular pumpkin Pumpkin pie and then it would not have died in vain or is that vane? It wouldn't have died for nothing. Not that a puking pumpkin is nothing because it is truly a work of art, but a pie is a ...work of art.

So, anyway, Halloween has turned into yet another bogus holiday and I have a good mind to turn out my lights and eat my candy in the dark alone; except I purposely purchased candy I do not like just so I would not turn out the lights and eat it in the dark alone.

Now this little fellow I would have given my whole bag of candy to. I wonder if they make that in super-duper grown up size?

DO NOT come to America!!!

We have all gone MAD here and it is not safe to cross our borders...besides if you drive across someone might take a shot at you....just stay in your own country until what ever mental illness that has infected us en masse can be cured...it may take a while a lot of people don't have health care and those that do may be turned down by their insurance companies for having a preexisting insanity (yeah I'm screwed).

You've been warn!

Change...it's a kinda, sorta, good thing, not really...

Well people I am moved in, but not settled. It is taking a while to get use to this place and I keep wondering when I am going to go home. I stopped by the old place yesterday to pick up some things and to do a walk through and it was very sad. I hate change. Not because change is bad, but basically I am a person that gets attached to things, places, etc. and it is hard to leave where you have nested.

On the bright side the new place is nice and I am fascinated by the garbage disposal which should be broken within the next week or two. The only problem I had so far are the mirrors in the bedroom. The sliding closet doors are huge mirrors and I woke up the other night caught my reflection in the mirror thought it was another person and jumped out of bed yelling. Being as really smart as I am I noticed the other person was jumping up and clutching a pillow in front of them also to thwart off bullets then it dawned on me it was me and I said, to my reflection of course, get back in bed dumb ass (wow spellcheck says dumb ass is two words, who knew) and I listened and I got back in bed. I have since put a guilt ladder I keep my spare blankets on in front of the one side now I can't see myself which is kinda good on a few levels.

Well, I wish I had some pictures of the place, but I can't find my camera yet and as soon as I do I will take some and by then it will be time to find another place because this place will be dirty.

That's all I got.